Jodie Foster: What I've Learned

原圖文出處：Jodie Foster: What I've Learned，以下為重點節譯。


Fears. Some of them are wounds that exist long before we exist.
（有些恐懼造成的創傷早有悠久歷史．）

My mom was always late. It drove me crazy as a child. So I'm always on time-or early.
（她有時間潔癖，不喜歡遲到．）

There's a tremendous amount of power that comes from not having to say yes.
（不隨意苟同，就是種力量．你得佩服她的堅持．）

It's very hard for me to get a new car. It's really hard for me to get a new house. It's really hard for me to move on from the things that give me stability. I just ... don't. There's a tenacity to that which is great, because I'm totally loyal. But that keeps you living in the past a bit. And it's hard to embrace the future if you are continually holding on to who you used to be.
（她念舊、穩定、忠誠，但也坦承很難擁抱未來）


There are probably a series of moments that tell you what you are going to become. To me, that doesn't mean a moment I thought, I'm going to be famous and get a bunch of Academy Awards. To me, it's the moment that you know you will be the one who fulfills your mother's vicarious power issues.
（有些重要時刻可以論定你的成就，但對她而言，那並不代表自己的功成名就，而是達成母親望女成鳳的期望．）

I love Los Angeles. I loved growing up here. I love living here. But it's a different approach in life. If you have a problem, you just go to the beach. You play volleyball or something. There's an external way of handling all your issues.
（洛衫磯是她的大地之母，不論發生什麼困擾，都可以在那裡尋得療癒．）

Often people think of strength as surviving. But I think it's surviving intact, and there's a big distinction.
（＊這句我大概了解，但譯不出味道。）

My definition of a friend is somebody who adores you even though they know the things you're most ashamed of.
（真正的好友是你被天下人所唾棄，仍然不以為恥．Wildeny建議版：朋友是即使知道你最丟臉的事還是一樣喜愛你。）

All my films are about people in a spiritual crisis. The Beaver, for sure.
（她所有的作品都牽涉人物的心靈危機，《The Beaver》亦不例外．）

You couldn't pay me to be in my twenties again. I didn't know that I was ever going to be successful. I didn't know if I would be able to ever afford a place to live. I didn't know if I would take care of my family. These seem like dumb questions when you're forty-five. But when you're twenty-three, all these are just a bunch of question marks ahead of you. I can't live with that anxiety.
（給再多錢，她都不想回味二十出頭時光．當時前途茫茫，不知可否養家活口．人到四十回顧過去，那些都是傻問題．然而在二十三當下，問題橫亙眼前．焦慮感直令人生不如死．）

The hardest thing about life in your forties is that it's heavy. You have to take responsibility for it, because you made it heavy. You're the one who wanted to have children. You're the one who wanted to have a big job. You're the one who wanted to have more than one house. You're the one, and you have to take responsibility for those choices. I wouldn't do it any differently, but part of me will always miss being light.
（四十人生的難題在於：它很沈重，而且是自己把它搞得很沈重．因為你想要有子女，更大的事業，更多的房子．所以自己要負起全責．若人生重來，她還是會同樣選擇，但仍不禁想像，如果負擔少一點會如何．）

The second half of the job is trying to get that back.
（工作的後半段就是把工作再找回來。）

People are always surprised when I say that I'm an atheist.
（你會訝異她是無神論者？我沒有那麼大的勇氣，頂多說自己是疑神論者。）

In my home, we ritualize all of them. We do Christmas. We do Shabbat on Fridays. We love Kwanzaa. I take pains to give my family a real religious basis, a knowledge, because it's being well educated. You need to know why all those wars were fought.
（但是她家各種宗教節日都過，努力了解各式信仰，才能理解那些衝突到底是為了那椿）

Jonathan Kaplan was adamant that the rape scene in The Accused be everything that we rehearsed. There would not be one ad-lib. But even after going through a massive amount of rehearsal, after every take, three of the guys just started crying. They were a mess. I had to spend my time telling them, "It's okay. I'm fine. Everything's okay." There was one guy who was not a mess at all. He was like, "My hair okay?" He was my buddy. That was the guy I could hang with because at dinner we just talked about his dog or his life.
（《控訴》的導演開拍前已做了多次彩排，但實地開拍幾個鏡頭，三個男演員已難過地流下淚來，她反而得安慰他們。只有一位很抽離地注意自己的髮型。她下戲後只會和他變成好友，因為在吃飯時才可以輕鬆地聊起家裡阿狗阿猫的生活。）

Some part of my brain is fried in the mathematical department. I can't retain numbers. If you tell me to be there at 9:30, I have to write it down because I remember 8:45 or 10:20. I can't remember my phone numbers. I don't know what eight times seven is. I've seen through the new occupational therapies how they isolate parts of the brain that are damaged. For me, it's the whole abstract-number thing. But I can tell you a story about anything and remember it all.
（她缺乏數字型的腦袋，不太會記時間，電話號碼，但是她能記得複雜的事情。換言之，她是個圖像思考的人，記憶連續性的畫面。＊我想到Fruit有很強的數字感與時間感，不用看錶就能抓到時間過了多久。）

Fear is the number-one emotion that we're spending tremendous amounts of brainpower to cover up.
（我們的心力絕大部份都拿去掩藏恐懼。）

I can shop for stationery. Books. Little kids' clothes I can do. Sporting goods. Hardware. But not my own clothes. I go into a clothing store and start shaking. There's so much to pick from, and I never pick anything good. I have to rely on movies I make. I have in my contract that they have to give me whatever clothes my character wore. Because otherwise I wouldn't have any clothes to wear.
（她可以為家裡決定添購任何東西，但就是沒辦法為自己買衣服。選擇太多，做不出好主意。她反而仰賴所拍的電影。劇中人穿什麼，她就跟著穿什麼。）

The most interesting thing about being a parent is being witness and supporting what they already are. It's standing there in awe. You get to be the one on the sidelines clapping.
（家長不過是見證及支持小孩既定的成長。你敬畏地看著他們，然後在旁邊鼓掌加油。）

In the end, winning is sleeping better
（所謂的勝利，不過是睡得比較好一點。）