Gigli

Gigli 絕配殺手

一部我完全不推薦觀賞的影片，有一大堆知名演員，故事卻根本是垃圾，編導Martin Brest曾製作過叫座的 ＜Meet Joe Black (1998)＞還有叫好叫座＜Scent of a Woman女人香(1992)＞，＜Midnight Run午夜狂奔(1988)＞，但這部電影證明他並不打算東山再起．

Ben Affleck出飾Gigli，曾演過評價兩極的＜Chasing Amy愛上了癮＞，最終同樣是得到同女的感情，但是此片的商業設定大有問題，是小班的前途自我毀滅．而Jennifer Lopez出飾同女Ricki，一點都不信服．

雖然批評了一大堆，我卻對片中有一段有趣的男女辯論印象深刻，電影是可以不必看，但這段對話，我不嫌麻煩將中英文照錄如下：

Gigli

But they have their shortcoming?他們有缺點？

Ricki

Besides the fact that they give terrible head.除了口交技巧很差之外，還有別的．

Gigli

See, right there, that tells me something. I know the guys you've been with obviously didn't know...how to bring home the pearls when they were diving for oysters.這樣我就懂了．我知道和妳在一起的男人，顯然不知道如何憐香惜玉．

Ricki

I was actually just joking我其實是開玩笑的．

Gigli

Well, since we're letting it all hang out now, let me tell you something else. Ok when it comes to pleasing a woman, your girlfriends, they're just...they're at a natural disadvantage. 既然都這麼坦白了，我告訴妳別的事．談到取悅女人，妳的女友天生就居於劣勢． It's like they might try hard, the register just not backed up...with millions of years of genetic engineering, programing , instinct.不管如何努力，她們就是無法克服基因的限制． Nature has evolved man for that purpose: satisfy, lead the pack... that's why lesbians are always buying, spending their dough on, you know...sexual appliances, erotic monkey wrenches and shit, trying to compensate...for what they don't have, wthereforee're not getting.男人天生就是要達到這目標：滿足女人，採取主動．所以女同志總是花錢買情趣用品，假陽具，彌補她們沒有的東西，她們做不到的地方． The penis. that's right. Its very design tells you everything you need to know. Forward motion with advancements. Fucking progress into the dark, deep, mysterious unknown. It's like adventure-seeking, frontier-conquering, obstacle-eradicating.陽具，沒錯．它的構造說明一切，仰天長嘯，向黑暗深邃的神秘地帶前進，就像是探險，征服邊境，突破障礙．

Ricki

And you tried to create the impression you didn't read the books.你想讓我覺得你沒唸過書

Gigli

You've setting for second best. That's all I'm saying.我只是表達妳沒選最好的

Ricki

So, in review..you're saying that it's men that are at the top of the must-fuck pyramid?總而言之，你是說，男人是性愛中最令人嚮往的?

Gigli

That's all I'm telling you.就是這個意思

Ricki

Loving, caring, sensitive, giving men.That'sat's right.關心，體貼，願意付出的男人

Gigli

That's right.沒錯

Ricki

You're entitled to your opinion. But let us reconsider women for a minute, shall we?你有權這麼想，但我們來討論女人，好嗎？

Gigli

Sure沒問題

Ricki

Their form: neshouldersders, legs, hips. I think pretty cool. Now, as far as your famous penis goes...The penis is like some sort of...bizarre sea slug...or like a really long toe. I mean, it's like handy, important even, but the pinnacle of sexual design? The top of the list of erodestinationsious? I don't think so.她們的外型：粉頸香肩美腿美臂，我覺得很棒．就拿你大加讚揚的陽具來說，陽具就像一種奇特的海蔘，或是很長的腳趾頭，它很靈巧，很重要，但說它是完美的性器官，情慾的最高目標？我可不認為． One's first impulse is to kiss what? To kiss the lips. Firm, delicious lips. Sweet lips. Surrounding a warm, moist...dizzyingly scented mouth. That's what everyone wants to kiss. Not a toe, Not a sea slug. A mouth.人一開始想親的是什麼？是嘴唇．緊實甜蜜的嘴唇．感覺濕濕暖暖的，味道令人暈眩的嘴唇，那才是大家想吻的地方．不是腳趾頭，不是海蔘，而是嘴唇． And why do you think that is, stupid? Because the mouth is the twin sister.. the almost exact look-alike of the what? Not the toe. The mouth is the twin sister of the vagina. And all creatures big and small seek the orifice. The opening, to be taken in, engulfed. To be squeezed and lovingly crushed by what is truly...the all-powerful, all-encompassing.你想是為什麼，傻瓜？嘴唇是某個部位的雙胞胎姊妹，它跟什麼如出一轍？嘴唇是陰道的雙胞胎姊妹，大小動物都嚮往的地方．要被填滿的開口，要被真正有力的東西深情地擁抱 Now, if it's design you're concerned with...hidden meanings, symbolism an power.. forget the top of MoEveresterst. Forget the bottom of the sea, moon, the stars. There is no place, nowhere, that has been the object...of more ambitious, more battles than the sweet, sacred mystery..between a woman's legs that I am proud to call my pussy.如果你強調的是，具有隱含意義，象徵性箕力量的東西，別說聖母峰，別說大海，月亮，　星星．沒有任何一個地方，那麼有野心，那麼狂野，那麼甜蜜而神秘，莫過於女人雙腿之間，也就是我的陰部． So I guess that is just my round about way of saying....that it is women who are, in fact, the mdesirableable form. Wouldn't you agree?繞了半天，我要說的是，其實女人才是性愛中最具嚮往的形式．你同意吧?

Gigli

I agree.我同意

Ricki

And so do I.我也是

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